What’s wrong with being Jabba the Hutt?


When it comes to the Star Wars saga, there are many characters one would want to emulate: the heroic Luke Skywalker who took on training to become a Jedi, and faced his fears when he took on Darth Vader. Then there is Han Solo. What person would not want to live by their own rules, travel around the galaxy in the Millennium Falcon, and have a cool side-kick in Chewbacca?

There are others such as Anakin Skywalker (pre-Vader), Boba Fett, or even Obi-Wan Kenobi… but I for one wouldn’t mind being Jabba the Hutt.

Look past the whole big, fat slug thing and hear me out.

Money

Jabba has cash. Lots of it! As the guy who controls smuggling routes he gets to charge a pretty penny for those who want to use them.

Power

Jabba is feared, has bounty hunters at his finger tips, and not even the Empire tries to mess with him and leaves him alone.

Pet Rancor

Living right below him is the Rancor. Imagine having the ability to just press a button and send your enemies into a Rancor pit.

Rock Band

How awesome would it be to just snap your fingers and have your own personal band to sing you a tune (Not just any band, the Max Rebo Band. I mean, hell yes. – Ed.)

No exercise

He gets to eat whatever he wants and doesn’t have to worry about his weight. Imagine just being able to lounge around, have music played at the snap of a finger, basking in your own money and not having to leave your place to run or hit the gym. Which leads me to my final point . . .

Women

As if tons of money, having your own Rancor, your own band, and being able to lounge around wasn’t enough, Jabba gets to have women around him at all times. OK maybe I wouldn’t chain them up on a leash, but can you imagine having a Princess Leia in a metal bikini laying next to you at all times.

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OK so maybe Jabba dies, but at least he lived a life some of us would love to live. These are just a few examples of why Jabba the Hutt might be a character who gets looked over in the Star Wars series.

Just think about it.



Posted on July 13, 2010


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